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Project "Dump the past"

February 15th, 2006 (05:37 pm)
tired

current mood: tired

I had planned on updating here more but the time just seems to slip past me lately. I thought it had been about a week but it's been nearly two. At the begining of the year one of my goals was to start writing again about my feelings and what  goes on a deeper level than I had been. I pulled out my old paper journals and read a few entries. It's been about a year or two since I've written that way and I'm not really sure even why. I tend to write more when things are their blackest.

I had written this when I had made the desicion to starve myself for a year as a self punishment of sorts I guess thinking I was a failure as a wife when I was married to my ex. I had lost nearly 70 lbs in about 6-7 months :

5/4/02  
There is a sickness which has crawled into my veins
As you watch me wasting away helpless to say a word
I stand before you silient in my screams you struggle to
hear even a breath
Just turn your eyes away and say nothing.

I plan on going through all of this here and get a lot of things out. Not sure what I expect to happen by bringing up the past but maybe it'll bring some healing and finally an end to the one before my Daddy. Most of those post will be friends only or just plain private. I see some people do this and it must bring some type of closure, so maybe i'll try.

Comments

Posted by: danae (danaewhispering)
Posted at: February 16th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
kiss - chain

I hope that getting it out will help you bring some healing to it. I can see just from your old journal entry that you are in a better place with your Daddy and that is a good thing. *hugs*

Posted by: @theprincesswife (bdprincess)
Posted at: February 16th, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC)

It's a very good thing. He's encouraged me all the way with this whole thing even if I don't get all this out I know I'm suported and loved. At the risk of sounding a bit cliche I thought you were very brave to write the things you do and it's inspired me a bit. I'm still not sure what I expect from it though. Thanks for *hugs*

Posted by: P. Shrew (sshrew)
Posted at: February 16th, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)

I write a lot of posts to myself, especially lately. I simply make them private, or delete them when I'm finished. At times it's helped to share them, and at others, I've been met with stone cold silence from my friends list. Too personal, or too gloomy, I guess... or people just don't know what to say.

Either way, writing it out helps, if only to remove it from that place where things get it all bottled up.

Posted by: @theprincesswife (bdprincess)
Posted at: February 16th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I'm gald to hear how it's helped someone else. It's very encouraging. I used to write in my paper journal the deepest stuff. I think a lot of it might end up there.

Posted by: Blue Eyed Angel (blueeyedangel07)
Posted at: February 17th, 2006 09:09 pm (UTC)
Moving on

I think its important to look back and occasionally examine closely those things from the past so we can see how we HAVE grown and the areas where we still need to grow!
Some things just need to stay right where they're at also!! :)

Glad to know things are going well for you LOVE the wedding pics!! Congrats!

Posted by: @theprincesswife (bdprincess)
Posted at: February 26th, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Moving on

Thanks ! It's good to hear from you. Hope things are good over at your end. Drop me a line when you have some freetime at ashorten@neurowiz.com or add me here : BDprincess0308@yahoo and

Things are good. Just really busy :)

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