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Long week

March 13th, 2006 (05:48 pm)
thoughtful

current mood: thoughtful
current song: Radio Head - Pablo Honey

I still haven't found the time to update here as I had hoped. The second job seems to be eating all the spare time I have. I'm getting better at saying no when they as me to work more hours. I did work Saturday for extra money though but told my boss last night to stick to the Tuesdays and Thursdays as originally planned. Those are the nights Daddy works so we go together. This Friday should be a nice check added to my slush fund though :) Too many plans for the little money that is on there. So for now it sits.

Friday on my way home from work I ran into a little surprise. Well not really seeings how we travel the same route a lot it was probably only a matter of time. In the truck in front of me was my ex. The one I used to call Master. There was no mistaking his plates. I switched lanes to get a better look at his face. Not that I wanted him to see me. I just had to see. After all these years the Bogyman is gone. Just left with a feeling of stupidity for letting him do what he did. For giving him the power of fear all these years. I just feel stupid about it now. I'm told it wasn't my fault and to not blame myself, I just can't help it. And like anything else it's going to need to take it's own time.

The weekend was wrapped up by finding myself on the wrong end of Daddy's big paddle. Sometimes I wonder where my heads at. But it's done and over. Lots of thoughts on that but maybe another time. It's completely different when you have love and trust. It's allowed for a lot of healing for the previous damage.

Enough of the ramble. I haven't managed to get much done at all today at work. I think the storms last night kept me from sleeping well.