Well i found my flash drive today with my private journal that's on it. It's covered 2+ years back on some of my lowest points and lots of meltdowns and rants. The last entry before today was, well, pretty ugly. I had opened it and read it and felt really guilty and ashamed. I wanted to delete everything on there and just start over. I think for now i will just keep in mind that i was just venting there and really in retrospect there are not even that many. So that just says i have many more pluses then minuses.