@theprincesswife (bdprincess) wrote,
@theprincesswife
bdprincess

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Project "Dump the past"

I had planned on updating here more but the time just seems to slip past me lately. I thought it had been about a week but it's been nearly two. At the begining of the year one of my goals was to start writing again about my feelings and what  goes on a deeper level than I had been. I pulled out my old paper journals and read a few entries. It's been about a year or two since I've written that way and I'm not really sure even why. I tend to write more when things are their blackest.

I had written this when I had made the desicion to starve myself for a year as a self punishment of sorts I guess thinking I was a failure as a wife when I was married to my ex. I had lost nearly 70 lbs in about 6-7 months :

5/4/02  
There is a sickness which has crawled into my veins
As you watch me wasting away helpless to say a word
I stand before you silient in my screams you struggle to
hear even a breath
Just turn your eyes away and say nothing.

I plan on going through all of this here and get a lot of things out. Not sure what I expect to happen by bringing up the past but maybe it'll bring some healing and finally an end to the one before my Daddy. Most of those post will be friends only or just plain private. I see some people do this and it must bring some type of closure, so maybe i'll try.
Tags: past project
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